Anyway, here’s my take on Godzilla arriving at Toronto:

So you won’t be surprised to learn that I’ve seen this year’s top grossing US-made film, Godzilla vs. Kong, about seven times (and counting; I’m planning to get a copy soon). Yes, I realize that me seeing this film so many times contributed to its box office status, so that’s a little self congratulatory. I digress.

But the guy in the photo below? True story: That guy showed up to a movie set one day thinking he was going to help train some actors with motion capture, but instead they turned to him and said, “You’re Godzilla.” Some guys have all the luck.

His name is TJ Storm, meaning that he has both a cool job AND a cool name. And if you aren’t a huge Godzilla fan (I’ll try to forgive you), he also has done mo-cap work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Iron Man, Groot, and Rocket Racoon.

If you want to find out a little more about TJ Storm and what it’s like to be the motion capture actor for big name roles, check out this article: https://www.syfy.com/syfywire/genre-mvp-the-motion-capture-actor-whos-played-groot-godzilla-and-iron-man

And if you care to see my entire ever-evolving collection of personally photoshopped Godzilla images, they can be found at my Facebook page, here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?vanity=KeithSoaresAuthor&set=a.1444717255596313

I’m such a kaiju fan that I’ve even created a few of my own. Their names are Gorgol Alpha, Gorgol Omicron, Gorgol Sigma, and Gorgol Tau, and you can find them in my John Black series of books. Here’s a conceptual look at Gorgol Alpha:

In fact, that’s Gorgol Alpha who appears on the cover of John Black book 2, And It Arose From the Deepest Black.

The post Go Go Godzilla appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

STRUCK (Lightning Hopkins book 1): https://amzn.to/3alZlSr

TWICE (Lightning Hopkins book 2): https://amzn.to/2JhT4v6

This time around, Lyn and her electromagician friends end up in Paris, France. Not too coincidentally, I took a trip to Paris with my family last summer (before… well, you know, the current world situation…). Many of the things I saw influenced parts of the story. Here are a few photos from my trip. Once you read the new book, you should notice their Lightning Hopkins connection.

First, of course, is the world-famous Eiffel Tower, but more specifically, what it feels like to be BELOW the tower. It’s really a gigantic pile of intertwined metalwork. And its elevators sway. Not cool, Monsieur Eiffel.

At night, the tower is beautifully lit, and I particularly liked the rotating beams coming from the top platform, circling around like some lighthouse for alien ship landings.

The circle surrounding the Arc de Triomphe (barely seen on the left here) is often overrun with cars. Here, even on a rather miserable, rainy day, it’s quite busy. Notice that there are no lane markers. It’s a free-for-all. Fun to look down upon from atop the Arc.

It’s an overstatement, but not much of one, to say there is a cafe on every street corner. Here are just two. If you own the supply company for these chairs, tables, and umbrellas, you have a constant business stream.

Despite the devastating fire, Notre Dame Cathedral still stands. It’s undergoing a massive effort for renovation and repair, but still dominates many views along the Seine.

According to the musical, high on a hill lives a lonely goatherd. Well, in Paris, it’s not a goatherd, but the white-domed structure of Sacre Coeur that stands high on a hill, overlooking much of the city. It’s a very popular place for photos, selfies, panoramas, and probably some pickpockets.

When you’re in front of Sacre Coeur, this is the view of Paris you get. I didn’t manage to get the Eiffel Tower in this shot, but it’s out there. And you never know who might be around you in one of these crowds.

While you’re staying in Paris, get the top-floor flat. Unless of course you don’t like heights and have to carry all of your luggage up a staircase like this for five floors.

Last but not least, get outside the city, where there is beautiful countryside very close by. We didn’t expect to stumble across a glider airstrip, but here one is. Moments later, a glider swooped down and landed, just beside us. Then the two people inside hopped out, grabbed a wing, and dragged it into the hangar. So, that’s a thing that happens…

Hope you enjoy the continuing adventures of Lightning Hopkins in my new book, TWICE. As for flying around using electromagic in Paris, this is about as high up as you’re going to find me. I think my hair alone here represents my level of concern at being halfway up the Eiffel Tower.

Cheers,

K.

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George Vanderbilt made his fortune as the southeast’s most notorious pool shark.

This is the table where the family would hold their silent auctions.

In the case is Mrs. Vanderbilt’s world famous collection of gravy boats.

A typical evening in the mansion involved a window-shaking round of dueling pianos.

Little known fact: George Vanderbilt was the Bat-Man.

A single circuit breaker controls the entire 250 room mansion. Outages are, unfortunately, common.

The Vanderbilt family invented the bowl cut, much to the chagrin of their children.

Edith Vanderbilt obsessed with saving one of her breaths each day in a Mason jar.

It wasn’t long before they learned that combining the Smoking Room and Gun Room was an explosive mistake.

Among the Biltmore servants, it is common knowledge that the worst job in the mansion is chamber pot cleaner the day after George Vanderbilt’s yearly Chili Cook Off.

The Biltmore’s architecture was inspired by the classic 1990s movie “Bram Stoker’s Dracula.”

The Vanderbilts were huge fans of both There Will Be Blood and The Big Lebowski.

Fun fact: the chandeliers in the stairwell double as wheels for the world’s largest bicycle.

Though Madonna never slept here, legend has it that you can hear the bass line to Like a Virgin repeating forever if you press your ear against the far wall.

A servant once accidentally spilled the entire meal tray she was carrying to the Vanderbilts at this table. Rather than get mad, George Vanderbilt graciously allowed the servant to choose which of these lit fireplaces she’d be thrown into.

The harpsichord on the left was used by Sir Edward Van Halen, Esq. III to compose the tune “Jump.”

In a remarkable showing of wealth, the Vanderbilts have the clouds painted in the sky by a different Renaissance master each day.

About the Author:

The Unofficial Guide is by grumpy author Keith Soares, who is clearly unfamiliar with things such as “facts” or “history.” However, he does look remarkably similar to some of the interesting graffiti found in the Asheville, NC, area.

The post The Unofficial Guide to the Biltmore Estate appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

We were quite comfortable, mind you, but we stayed in a treehouse without any of the so-called modern conveniences. A place where, at night, it was so dark you couldn’t see two feet in front of your face — that is, until your eyes adjusted and then suddenly the glowing nighttime world of the forest emerged, hauntingly lit by distant moonlight bouncing of fog.

Rain fell the entirety of our stay, which only worked to increase our feeling of separation from the modern world. It was, in a word, divine. I’m not saying I could easily live there permanently, but for this weekend, it was just the right level of unplugged.

Of course, you’re reading this on my website, from a post I typed on my computer. I write my books on my laptop. All these things require modern conveniences. Every day life is overrun with such things. So, while I didn’t add any pages to the fourth John Black book, I did get some incredibly important time to recharge my batteries.

On one wall of the treehouse, someone had scribbled a few phrases worth heeding:

Take your shoes off.

Go outside.

Feel the earth.

So do it. Don’t worry, the modern world will still be here when you get back.

The post Into the Wild appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

It’s kinda fascinating to watch the barges and ferries carving their curved lines across the surface of the water outside my window, headed for who knows where. The snowcaps in the distance are the most obvious sign that I’m not at home — the only mountains in DC are made of paper.

Hidden from my view almost entirely is the Space Needle, a landmark most likely as grating and outdated to locals as it is a heartwarming reminder of home. It’s just out of view to the right in this photo (it was behind a building anyway). Down below, the monorail runs straight from where I sit to the Needle and surrounding attractions. Both opened in 1962, a time when, believe it or not, even I was not yet born.

Funny how some things endure while others fade.

If this was The Oasis of Filth, I’d be talking about how the city gradually crumbled as the placid mountains stood by and watched. In the John Black series, I’d be Sol, sitting in his penthouse stronghold, looking down on his domain.

But for me, the humble writer, it’s simply time for breakfast.

K.

The post The Misty Mountains appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

I looked out through the honeycombed glass of Harpa, a trick of the design almost making it seem like I’d fall into the harbor’s cold waters. Why do I always meet them here?

The clouds were thinning, no longer threatening snow as they had for two days. Maybe it would clear enough to see the lights tonight. But I had a job to do. Assuming my client hadn’t skipped town.

Footfalls echoed on the tile floor. Finally, I thought.

“Jonas?” an unsure male voice asked, thick with accent.

I turned. “That’s me.”

“My name’s Gott—”

I raised one hand. “Please, no names. Complicates things.”

“Sorry,” he said, hanging his head.

I hated when they acted this way. But I could see he needed my help. I waved my hand, gave a reassuring smile. “Tell me your problem. Which is it?”

“Ogre. Actually, quite a particular ogre.” His head hung even lower.

I sighed. “Go on.” For four minutes, he told the story like dropping an anchor overboard, all in a rush to get rid of the weight.

* * *

“Gott—,” or as I called him, Client #1352, was hopeless. How do you anger one of the most notorious creatures in the country without a decent explanation? Sure, 1352 was a transplant from Germany, but that was eight years ago. He should’ve known better. He recently took visiting relatives to the remote northeast, to Dimmuborgir lava fields. I already knew where this was headed. I sighed again.

A little careless off-road driving and one (admittedly large) rock got dislodged, tumbling down a snow-covered hill. Next thing you know, there was a very angry ogre giving chase for miles down the icy road, the 4×4 sliding through turns in its haste.

Yes, 1352 had the unfortunate luck of offending Leppalúði, husband of the famously nasty ogress Grýla, and not the most kindly of characters himself.

I call myself a remediator. I fix people’s problems. Not with other people. With elves, trolls, ogres, hidden folk, and the like. When I was eight, I made national news by saving an elf rock from being destroyed at a construction site. Since then, I’ve had a reputation. So it should come as no surprise that Grýla and I went back. Though not in a good way.

People paid me well. No one wanted bad luck, and even fewer people wanted to be eaten by a twenty-foot monster. I thought of my fattened bank account as I crept closer to the dark cave in Dimmuborgir two nights after meeting 1352.

I was quiet, but they were supernatural. The Yule Cat’s low growl came from behind and I knew I’d been discovered. Then she saw me.

“Well, look who it is. Come in, sweetie.” Grýla batted her hideous eyelashes, the ones in back of her head, my direction. I shuddered. With the big cat breathing down my neck, no sense in fighting or trying to run.

I really need to charge more next time, I thought, stepping forward.

The post Flash Fiction: “The Remediation of 1352” appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

Now I’m at the point where I need to refer to something concrete to make sense of the geography of where Huldrych and Corymna live. So I made a map.

I won’t say more, since I don’t want to spoil anything in the book, but here’s the Map of the Known World. What say you, fantasy fans? Would you want to read about this place?

The post Creating a World appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

The child in this photograph is definitely not my kid, and is definitely not feeding lettuce to the manatee. I swear (crosses fingers and holds breath).

Being a child of the ’80s and a nerd, I immediately began singing “Whoa-oh here she comes! Watch out boy, she’ll chew you up. Whoa-oh here she comes! She’s a man-a-tee!”

Many apologies to Daryl Hall and John Oates. I am relatively certain they did not write that song about a sea cow.

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What have I been up to recently? Well, isn’t that sweet of you to ask. It’s been a lot of things. Here goes.

Birthday

Uh oh. The Earth revolved around the Sun again. You know what that means… I have arbitrarily been upgraded to another age. But, when one does such things, one should do them as stupidly as possible. So I chose the Maryland Renaissance Festival.

I’m a science fiction writer. You didn’t expect something less nerdy, did you?

So we RenFaired. Or RenFested. (hold internal nerd debate here) But I should mention something… I’ve been going to the Maryland Renaissance Festival FOREVER. And by forever, I mean ‘less than three decades in the cosmic sense.’ But come on, humans! That’s a long time, right? I think so.

I remember being a delinquent teenager and sneaking onto the grounds in the winter. Same buildings and such, but no people. And it was cold. And very dark. We walked around until we saw the off-season caretaker, then we ran like a bunch of scared wimps. Which I suppose we were.

Anyway, my birthday celebration there was quite fun, and an amazing 32 friends and family joined us for the day. That’s a lot of steak(s) on a stake(s).

One sad note… I heard the RenFair may be moving, as soon as next year. I won’t know what to think, where to go, what to do, if the RenFair is not in that same familiar spot.

Oh, the humanity.

Anniversary

My wonderful wife and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary with a trip to the beach (sans kids). On the way, we stopped for gas and I noticed that there were sun dogs in the sky. I think it may be the first time I’ve ever noticed sun dogs (my photo at right).

Makes me think of the Rush song, “Chain Lightning,” which says:

Sun dogs fire on the horizon
Meteors rain stars across the night
This moment may be brief
But it can be so bright
Reflected in another source of light
When the moment dies
The spark still flies
Reflected in another pair of eyes

Thankfully for me, that ‘(an)other pair of eyes’ is my wife of now 16 years. I am grateful for so many years of sharing the wonder with her.

At the beach, we celebrated our anniversary on a perfect night as the moon shone and hardly a cloud appeared. We may or may not have spotted a pterodactyl. More to come on that subject, from south Texas (which is not where we were). On a tangent, has anyone noticed that book title, Angel of the Borderlands, lurking in my sidebar…?

Couldn’t ask for a more pleasant and lovely setting for this wonderful occasion.

Oh, what’s that, you ask?

What else have I been up to?

Hm… let me think.

Oh, there is this one thing. It’s called For I Could Lift My Finger and Black Out the Sun. It progresses quite nicely. It’s a fun and suspenseful tale, of a regular boy who gains irregular power. I am hopeful you’ll like it, Friend, but of course you will decide for yourself.

I know. I wish the book was complete and out now, but it isn’t. That’s all in an effort to make it as good as possible.

Just today I noticed this rather unexpected review of The Oasis of Filth – The Complete Series: “I applaud the author for writing a virtually error free series. How refreshing.” I’ve tried — and God knows the esteemed editor Christopher Durso has tried — to make my work as devoid of errors as possible. To hear that in a review is unexpected and nice.

What now?

Sign up for my email newsletter (if you’re on my site, top right of any page). I plan to release the prologue of For I Could Lift My Finger and Black Out the Sun as soon as the book is slated for release.

Until then…

Cheers,

K.

The post Have a Seat by the Fire appeared first on KEITH SOARES.

• Saw a large number of castles; slept in two.
• May or may not have heard a ghost in second castle.
• May or may not have seen Nessie at Loch Ness.
• Got hit by a double-decker bus in London, just outside Westminster Abbey. Really. Thankfully it was more love-tap than running-over.
• Saw the Edinburgh Royal Military Tattoo.
• In the rain.
• Watched street performers juggle, balance, abuse themselves, and make fools out of the public.
• Tried several new whiskeys.
• Trained across the English countryside.
• Hit Loncon3, the World Science Fiction Convention, and attended the Hugo Awards ceremony.
• Saw a life-sized TARDIS. Guess where.
• Tried to hit opening night of Kate Bush’s run at the Hammersmith Apollo, but alas, they require you to have this strange British thing called a “ticket.”
• Stopped by the Elephant House in Edinburgh, where J. K. Rowling purportedly wrote some of the original Harry Potter book. Of course, I pulled out my iPad and wrote a bit myself, just to see if there was real magic there.
• Learned a Scottish catch phrase: “No umbrellas! Only misery!”
• Hiked a Scottish waterfall.
• Drove on the “wrong” side of the road. Even when the road was two strips of gravel with grass growing in the middle.
• Did a dramatic reading of the Swamp Castle scene from Monty Python’s Holy Grail, outside of Duone Castle, site of the filming.
• Took some selfies. With castles. And a loch. And my family.
• Tried haggis. It was good.
• Had several English/Scottish breakfasts.
• Popped into the pub for a pint.
• Snuck four copies of my book The Oasis of Filth – The Complete Series into English bookstores. Will be interesting to see if anyone ever picks them up and contacts me.

Now I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. Er, I mean holiday.

Cheers!

K.

The post Well, I’m Back. appeared first on KEITH SOARES.